Rediscovering Yourself After Loss: Navigating the Void Between Who You Were and Who You’re Becoming

Who Am I Now?

Have you ever stood in the middle of your life and wondered, “Who am I now?”

It’s disorienting — that hollow, in-between space when the roles that once defined you fall away, and you’re left facing the quiet echo of who you used to be.

For many women I work with, this moment arrives after major life transitions — divorce, death, empty nesting, or simply the slow unraveling of old identities.

It’s not just about what you’ve lost — it’s about who you’ve been that’s no longer here.

The Grief, the Liberation, and the Uncertainty

Grief in this season is layered.

One of my clients felt an unexpected sense of freedom when her mother passed — a release from decades of emotional caretaking. But then came the deeper grief: not for her mother, but for the part of herself that had always been defined by that relationship.

Another, an empty nester, felt paralyzed between pride and fear. Her daughter’s independence triggered both joy and loss — and without the daily rhythm of motherhood, she found herself whispering, “What do I do with my life now?”

Grief and liberation often arrive hand in hand — and this can be so confusing.

There’s freedom in shedding old roles — and fear in not knowing who you are without them.

Why Identity Work Matters

When women enter this season, many instinctively reach outward — for books, podcasts, workshops, therapists.

But here’s the truth: the rediscovery you’re seeking isn’t out there. It’s in here.

Identity work isn’t about finding a new version of yourself; it’s about remembering the one that’s always been there.

It’s the sacred process of peeling back the layers of conditioning, obligation, and expectation until you meet the essence underneath — the part of you that existed before the world told you who to be.

Without that reconnection, the void only grows louder.

How to Begin Rediscovering Yourself

1. Acknowledge the Void

Don’t rush to fill it. The emptiness you feel is not a problem to fix — it’s a doorway to knowing yourself more deeply.

Journal about what feels missing. Name your emotions. Let them speak. The void always holds wisdom.

2. Honor Both Grief and Freedom

You can grieve what you’ve lost and still feel relief for what’s over.

You can hold love and anger at the same time. There’s no right way to grieve — only the way that’s true for you.

3. Listen Inward

Set aside 10 minutes each day for stillness — no phone, no agenda.

Meditate, walk in nature, breathe, or simply sit.

Ask your heart, “What part of me wants my attention today?”

4. Ask Better Questions

Instead of “Who am I now?” try:

• “What have I always loved but set aside?”

• “What makes me feel most alive?”

• “Where am I being invited to trust myself more deeply?”

Your new identity reveals itself through curiosity, not control.

5. Get Support

Rediscovery is tender work. You don’t have to navigate it alone.

Whether through private coaching, group containers, or a community of women walking the same path, having safe mirrors helps you integrate who you’re becoming.

The Journey of Becoming

Rediscovering yourself isn’t about replacing your past; it’s about exploring who you’re becoming in this next chapter.

You are not the same woman you were before loss — and that’s the point.

This is your initiation into deeper truth.

A time to meet the woman you were always meant to become — beneath the noise, beneath the roles, beneath the fear.

“What part of me has been waiting patiently to be seen?”

When you sit with that question, you begin the journey home.

Next Step in Your Journey

If you’re ready to reconnect with who you truly are beneath the layers of loss and life change, join WITHIN: The Inner Work — a 3-month journey into emotional healing, identity recalibration, and rediscovery.

Or, subscribe to my weekly email for reflections, practices, and guided insights to help you navigate your season of becoming.

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Author Bio:
Tris Thorp is a master coach with 20+ years of experience, an international best-selling author, speaker, and emotional healing expert who helps high-performing women heal the anxious–avoidant attachment loop through shadow work and subconscious reprogramming.