How to Let Go of Regret and Embrace What’s Here Now

The Weight of Regret

While at a women’s retreat recently, a woman asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks:

“How can I let go of past regrets and be okay with the life I have?”

It’s a question that strikes a universal chord. Every one of us has moments we wish we could rewrite. Yet, holding on to regret only binds us to the past and clouds our ability to experience joy in the present.

Awareness is always the first cornerstone of healing. The very act of recognizing regret as something you’re struggling with means you’re already in a position to shift it.

What It Means to Let Go of Regret

Letting go of regret isn’t about pretending the past didn’t happen. It’s about changing your relationship to it.

It’s acknowledging what was painful, learning from it, and deciding that those choices or events will no longer define you.

When you can look back and say, “That happened, it hurt, and I learned,” you transform pain into wisdom. That’s what emotional integration looks like in practice.

Why Letting Go Matters

Regret is more than an emotion—it’s a stressor that can quietly impact your physical, emotional, and mental health.

It feeds anxiety, perpetuates shame, and prevents you from moving forward.

Shifting your perspective on regret:

• Calms the nervous system, reducing chronic stress in the body and mind

• Rebuilds self-trust, allowing you to make decisions from clarity, not fear

• Restores emotional energy, creating space for purpose, joy, and new experiences

It’s not about erasing the past—it’s about understanding that past choices have impart important life lessons.

Five Practices for Letting Go of Regret

1. Acknowledge and Accept Your Feelings

Awareness always precedes transformation.

Write about your regrets and the emotions attached to them. What fears, beliefs, or unmet needs lie underneath?

This simple journaling practice allows you to move from avoidance to acceptance—a vital step in emotional healing.

(During my own five-year grief and healing process after divorce, this became a daily ritual of release and understanding.)

2. Practice Self-Compassion

You cannot heal through self-punishment.

Remind yourself: “I did the best I could with what I knew then.”

Your mistakes do not define you—they teach you. Speak to yourself as you would to someone you love.

3. Reframe the Story

Shift from “I failed” or “I messed up” to “I learned.”

Ask:

“What did this experience teach me about who I am and what matters most?”

This reframe transforms regret into wisdom and aligns you with the person you’re becoming, rather than who you were.

4. Set New Intentions Moving Forward

Take what you’ve learned from the past and decide how you want to live now.

Ask yourself:

“Who am I choosing to become, despite how things unfolded?”
“Who do I want to be in this moment and moving forward?”

Your future is created by how you show up today—not by what happened yesterday.

5. Realign with Your Values

Regret often signals moments when you acted out of alignment with your values.

Get clear on what truly matters—kindness, integrity, courage, connection—and let those values become your compass.

Living in alignment dissolves regret at its root because your choices begin to reflect your truth.

Emotional Healing in Action

Letting go isn’t a single act—it’s a practice.

It requires self-reflection, time, and the willingness to meet discomfort with compassion.

Techniques like deep breathing, reframing, grounding, and mindfulness help regulate the nervous system, anchoring you in the present moment.

Whether through movement, creativity, time in nature, or 1-1 coaching, each act of presence helps rewire your emotional patterns toward emotional freedom.

You can’t change the past—yet, you can change your relationship to it.

Remember This

Every regret holds a lesson. Every lesson offers a doorway to wisdom.

When you finally release the “should haves,” you reclaim the ability to create from the “what is.”

You were doing the best you could with the awareness and resources you had. And now, with greater awareness, you can do differently.

Next Step in Your Healing Journey

If you’re ready to move from rumination to release, begin with the 4-Week Training: Your Nervous System Blueprint — a guided experience to help you regulate emotional overwhelm, process regret safely, and return to peace in your body.

Or, subscribe to my weekly email for tools and reflections that support your ongoing emotional healing and personal growth.

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Author Bio:
Tris Thorp is a master coach with 20+ years of experience, an international best-selling author, speaker, and emotional healing expert who helps high-performing women heal the anxious–avoidant attachment loop through shadow work and subconscious reprogramming.